To Catch a Peeper

In hindsight, it probably wasn't a good idea to be crouched in the bushes. At midnight. Waiting for some Peeping Tom rumored to be wearing nothing but a striped sock. If I were to be honest and I daresay, I am most of the time, I couldn't bring myself to believe the rumor about some weirdo voyeur skulking about the neighborhood with his footwear on the wrong body part. I mean, who would be that hardup?

Sure, okay, there might well be some dude going around the neighborhood craning his neck to look in windows, my own sister said she thought she heard something outside her window the night before. Hence the bushes I'm in now. She went to look, but said she only saw what looked like a shadow running down the street, I told her to tell dad, but she scrunched up her face and turned beet red. So I told her I would wait in the bushes to see if I saw anything myself. I should have just told dad. I should have just called the police. Whatever, I was somewhat of an expert on Monday morning quarterbacking or at least that's what my dad always told me.

Between staring at my phone and at the window of my sister's bedroom, I was beginning to feel like a peeper myself. I hope this wasn't a waste of time. I was adjusting my grip on my dad's heavy-duty flashlight I borrowed from his workshop in the garage when I heard what sounded like heavy breathing.

Shit, this is it. A moment later, I saw two hairy legs step in front of my hiding spot in the bushes. Damn, the rumors were true. Wait till the boys hear about this, they're gonna wet themselves. Leaping from the bushes, I flicked the flashlight on and trained the white beam in the perv's face and shouted, "Gotcha, ass-!"

Standing in front of me, and shielding his eyes from the glare of the flashlight was a heavily paunched, balding man wearing one sock. Aiming the flashlight at the ground, I took a step forward and confronted my best friend's dad, "Mr. Brown?"

"Hello, Erick. Nice night, isn't it?"

*This story was based on a rumor which circulated my neighborhood when I was a child. The story has been changed and embellished to protect anonymity. It was, after all, a rumor.