Pepper Rose: To Phone or Not to Phone

"Mom, we got to talk."

Pepper's mom pushed aside her breakfast of lukewarm coffee and settled her arms on the kitchen table, her glasses an afterthought perched on top of her head, "I'm listening."

"You see, it's like this, I need a phone."

"No," Removing her arms from the kitchen table, Pepper's mom refolded them across her chest with a shake of her head, "No, you don't."

"Mom, listen, you're not listening. I need a phone. Saturday."

"Pepper, we've gone over this. You do not need a phone, you want a phone but the bottom line is we can not afford a phone. You understand?"

"No..."

"Pepper, I grew up without a phone and I turned out fine. You will, too, I promise."

"Mom, you don't understand. My life depends on a phone. Seriously. My very life. You want that on your conscience?"

"This conversation is over, Pepper. You are not getting a phone until I can afford the payments so hang out with friends who already have one. Okay?"

"This is the twenty-first century, mom. This is child abuse. No, this is child endangerment. Do you want me to get kidnapped?"

"Do you want me to answer that right now?"

"Not funny, mom."

"Look, Pepper, sweety I'm not trying to punish you or deprive you, but honey, with your father gone, things are really tight. I can not afford a phone for you right now. Maybe later, but not at this moment. Alright?"

"Not cool, so not cool."

"No, it's not cool, but it's reality." Pepper's mom stood and took her mug to the sink to rinse, but instead of sitting back down at the table, she ruffled Pepper's hair and said, "Love you, Peps."

"Guess I love you, too."

"That's all I want."

~~~~~~~

"Bad news, Jester, my mom still won't let me get a phone." Pepper held the receiver of the kitchen phone close to her ear, her hand cupped over the mouthpiece, "I'm stuck hugging the wall with this ancient thing."

"Cheer up, Pep, my parents won't let me get a phone either. They say I'm not responsible enough and the only reason my brother has a phone is because he's in high school and is involved in sports and stuff. No biggie."

"No, biggie? Jester, I need a phone. How am I supposed to be a sleuth when I can't even call for backup? I'm telling you, the cord on this thing only reaches the Oreos on the top shelf in the pantry and that's a stretch."

"No problem, we'll use my dad's old walkie-talkies. He has a box of them in the garage."

"Walkie-talkies? Seriously? I feel like this is an episode of the Twilight Zone."

"My dad loves that old show."

"Ugh, fine. You sure they work?"

"Pretty sure, he wouldn't keep them around if they didn't. I think they need batteries, but that's a cinch to fix."

"My life's on the line, Jester. I have to get my dad's cuckoo clock back."

"I got this, trust me."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I trust you."

"Peace out."

"Ditto."

Pepper replaced the phone back on its handle after Jester hung up and stared at the worn yellow receiver, its cord a tangled mess. One of these days, her mother would have to realize that she'd have to upgrade this whole house, starting with the phones. To at least a wireless phone, the kind with a metal antenna or something. Pepper loved her grandmother, but the woman had left them a house that time forgot. Completely.